What a relief…(no, not another post about the Leadership)

I heard a new variation on those ‘your name’ games recently: your space-age name is the firstname of your favourite childhood popstar, plus the first word of the latest gadget you bought. Which would make me Gilbert Solar.

Another one is your US senator name (the first part of your road name; the job of one of your grandparents; the number of loos in your house). When I lived in Barnsbury my name would have been Hemingford Clerk III which was quite grand. Now it’s Morton Clerk I. Which is a fancy way to say we have one loo, so having it out of action is no joke. Especially not just before Christmas.

Last night the pipe from the water cistern to the loo started leaking – right above the freshly-painting living room ceiling. A quick text message to a couple of friends generated a sympathetic phone call and the name of a good plumber. In the meantime, no flushing and an old towel round the pipe.

Angel Plumbing lived up to their name, came round today and fixed a new flush pipe [cue bad old joke about a few inches of rubber putting a smile on your face].

A loo may not be the most exciting present ever, but it’s more useful than most. And there’s still just time to order one!

All together now:

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don’t care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want a place to go
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is loo.


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